looseframing

been pretty down on my teaching the last couple of years. i’ve not felt terribly effective, creative, motivated, dedicated. felt darn lame, actually — like i’ve been phoning it in. i’ve connected with my students, as always, but i haven’t been convinced that i’ve taught them anything of substance, you know?

but this semester… hmm, i feel alive in the classroom again. like i know what i’m doing. like i have something to say, am not just amusing my students for a couple of hours a week, but truly teaching them new ideas and helping them discover new abilities in themselves.

the difference? i don’t know. maybe it’s that other parts of my life have gained a clarity they have not had in several years — so i have more mental and emotional energy to focus on my teaching. maybe it’s that i was forced to re-do my curriculum this semester, per program dictates, which annoyed me at first, but has had the happy result of getting me to really think through what i’m doing and why and how. maybe it’s the growing confidence in myself as an educator, as a professional, that i’ve been experiencing this academic year.

whatever it is, i like it. i’ve missed feeling like i am worth my students’ time. my partner says i’m sexiest when i teach — i’ve missed feeling like that.

it’s good to be back.